The reality is we live in a broken and hurting world. Every day, we face moments of hurt and offense. We can find ourselves on either side of the equation: the offender or the offended. The hurts of this world lead to wounds of bitterness and resentment that seep into the deepest recesses of our hearts, clouding our vision, paralyzing our hearts, and affecting our ability to love and receive love. For most of us, this can happen unintentionally. 

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If left unchecked, bitterness and resentment lead us into unforgiveness. Unforgiveness is like lighting yourself on fire and expecting the other person to die from smoke inhalation. The only person unforgiveness hurts in the end is ourselves. When we become offended, we place walls around our hearts, thinking it will keep out the pain, the rejection, and the hurt. But Proverbs 18:19 tells us, “A brother wronged is more unyielding than a fortified city.” The word unyielding refers to negative human stubbornness towards God. When our heart is unyielding, we put walls around our heart, thinking we’re keeping the bad things out when, in reality, we’re keeping the good things of life out too. Unforgiveness keeps us bound from experiencing the fullness and abundance of life that Jesus mentions in John 10:10 

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“The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I have come that you may have life, and have it to the full.” 

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Oftentimes, our definition of forgiveness is distorted. We think that forgiveness means that what happened is excused, forgotten, or minimized. Or we believe that forgiveness is predicated on an apology. We will say things like “When they apologize, then I’ll forgive.” This is a fabricated expression of what forgiveness actually is.

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There are other times when we choose not to walk in forgiveness because we don’t think it’s fair or think that we’re strong enough to actually forgive. In Matthew 18, The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant, Peter asks Jesus how many times we should forgive someone who has sinned against us. Jesus responds with, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven.” When you live from a place recognizing that God has to forgive you more than you’ll ever have to forgive someone else, forgiveness doesn’t become a suggestion; it becomes a requirement. Most of the time, you won’t feel like forgiving. That’s why forgiveness is a choice and one that we have to make daily.  

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During VOUSCon Sunday, Pastor Judah Smith, in his message, “The Purpose of Life” shows us a picture of living a life dedicated to forgiving sin rather than fighting sin. Luke 23:34 are Jesus’ last words on the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” When we choose to walk in forgiveness, we have an awareness of what we are doing. 

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Forgiveness is a daily choice. We must choose to pray for the people who have offended us daily. When the world tells you to repay evil with evil, Jesus’ way tells us to respond differently – with prayer, blessing, and good action. His Word tells us not only to refrain from gossip but to actually bless, or speak well of, those who have offended us and treat them well. Sometimes this starts with a choice and an action before we feel it in our hearts. 

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To watch Pastor Judah Smith’s full message, tune into our VOUS Friends + Family YouTube tonight at 7:30PM EST.